Sounds exhausting even reading that back to myself but we do learn as parents to juggle things pretty well.
But I think there are certain things that are always going to be classed as parenting struggles and so here are 5 that I think we can all relate to.
1. The Constant Tidying Up
It really does feel never ending! I don't think for me it helps that Lily has so many toys, but that is my own fault for reviewing so many toys for you to read about. I find that as I tidy one room (her play room perhaps), then she will be trashing the front room. If I am tidying her bedroom, she will have taken toys from her bedroom into my bedroom and then thats a mess instead. It sometimes feels like a never ending pointless activity. There are also times that I really do need to get on with work and lily decides she will happily play, which is great, work done.. ahh I can relax... turn around and OMG there are toys EVERYWHERE. No relax time for me. I am trying to teach Lily that when she gets one toy out she needs to put another away first but she is only 3 and so that goes in one ear and out the other. I generally find that as she does start to tidy it, she suddenly decides she doesn't want to stop playing with it after all and she would pour the entire box of Sticklebricks that we have just tidied away all back out on the floor. An expression I find I use a lot in this situation is "Why do I bother".
This may not be a struggle for all parents but I do find Lily's constant need for attention to be tricky. I have been invited to a fitness group where I could take Lily with me but I feel that I probably with have to do the exercises with her attached to my leg making it extra hard. Lily seems to act up on needing attention when I am busy doing something. For example I have a blog post to write, I am trying to clean up, do the washing. These are all times that Lily decides she needs a cuddle, picking up, and suddenly a task that she can normally do is impossible and she needs help. But if I simply sit on my bum on a chair in the living room doing nothing. (Which doesn't happen often) then she will quite happily sit on the floor and play all by herself contently.
She has also started to get very impatient. If she asks me to do something for her, If I don't do it literally the second she has asked me and I mean second, then she asks again, and again. Usually not even giving me time to even stand up.
Im hoping that this isn't just a Lily thing and something else other parents can relate too?
3. Constantly Asking Questions
I do love that kids are inquisitive and Lily is definitely no different to any other child when it comes to want to know about everything. I am perfectly happy to answer her questions and love to help her learn about the world. But sometimes your just like "really.... your asking me that?" I have lately been answering my questions with a little sarcastic joke. For example, this morning. I walk into the bathroom, Lily can see where I am going, she is following me there as always. Lily - "Where are you going mummy" Me - "To the moon" Lily - "No your not, your going to the bathroom" Me - "then why ask!?!" She usually finds it quite funny when I joke with her like that and I do mostly answer questions with a real answer, but parents will all understand that the constant questions just get too much.
Then theres the questions you just can't answer. "Mummy, why is the moon out, its daytime??" I suddenly am needed to turn to google for the answer which is generally one that Lily would never understand so I just tell her that he has come to visit the sun. Then there is the worst..the worst question that just haunts parents. "WHY?", when no matter what answer you give them it is followed by a "WHY?" I actually wrote a post on this quite a while ago and I had hoped Lily would have grown out this phase but unfortunately not. I do know from talking to many parents that this one is a common one to feel like pulling your hair out a little.
Zzzzzzzzz. The first thing I will say about this one is that you think your tired. You have children, now you know the meaning of tired. You may be lucky and have a child who is a brilliant sleeper. But I still expect the juggling of a million things parents have to do, will make you tired. Especially when you wave goodbye to your child's nap time.
Lily has never been a brilliant sleeper. She didn't sleep through until she was about 2 years old and then still didn't sleep through every night. I think going over 2 years of getting up every night did nearly kill me. But I am alive and so apparently it doesn't actually kill you. Lily does still wake me up though. Last night was at least 3 times, and now she is waking me for the most ridiculous of reasons. Reason 1, she says she couldn't pull her blankets back on top of her. Reason 2, she had dropped her teddy on the floor. Reason 3, she had a bogie on her finger! It is so frustrating that I am feeling so tired for those reasons above. Again another phase I hope she grows out of and soon she won't wake at all, or at least gets herself back to sleep when she does.
5. Never getting to eat a meal to yourself
Well this one isn't to much of a biggie, but it can be fair annoying when she has decided she doesn't want to eat her own dinner and suddenly wants yours. Especially when you offered her what you were having for yourself in the first place but she chose fish fingers instead. I am generally pretty hungry and pretty much ALWAYS have to share my dinner/lunch. I always say, you know its love when you give away your last roast potato!
But there are times I do have to tell her that she has her dinner and I have mine or else she would happily steal all my food.
So there are 5 things that I think as parents we can all relate to, and know, that we are not alone and that its also not a bad thing to feel like your struggling. One thing as a blogger I never want to portray is that i'm perfect and that my life is perfect. That is no where near true and although I can write tips for you, my readers. Know that I can also struggle with the every day problems that other parents also face.
Well... after taking 2 hours to write all that. I guess I better clean up!
I would love to know which of the above you struggle with?
Are there other things you struggle with?
Constantly Asking Questions :- Similar to yourself, I admire the healthy natural curiosity, the desire to learn, the genuine interest in everything / or almost everything. But after the umpteenth question, at what seems supersonic speed. I wonder just how I will match up to their need to know. As I certainly don't know everything, and admire the thirst for knowledge and understanding :- Thank goodness for books, they have often helped to occupy the children and answer some of their questions.ReplyDelete
The one that frustrates me is when you play their game wrong. My daughter (also 3) wants me to play with her, but you'd think the world was going to end if I send the wrong paw patrol pup to the rescue. She gets upset, I get frustrated as neither of us know how it has gone so wrong :(ReplyDelete
Oh Yes, I know this one! She begs me to play EG Paw Patrol, so I start and then get told No No No not that one or not like that!!Delete
Lol. Never have the toilet to yourself 😀ReplyDelete
Too true, and the constantly asking questions at the same time.Delete
I so can relate to this. Glad i am not going mad and it isnt just my kids lolReplyDelete
Today was one of those days :- moon in the sky, whilst sun also to be seen in the sky. I thought of Lily. Whilst I also thought of the moon saying hello to the sun, and the sun saying hello to the moon ( nice to be nice).ReplyDelete
The Constant Tidying Up :- I Wonder if there is an Answer to this One. As I have come across some who Proudly announce to the child / children "Tidy Up Time" and I have seen it work. To bring up child / children with the routinue and expectation of Tiy Up Time, it seems that toys are put back in their place ( toy box, etc). Home is then tidy for the next activity e.g. Meal Time, etc. Bliss! Wish I had witnessed / experienced this activity / routinue long ago.ReplyDelete
Ha ha - life is always fun - before you know it lily will be off chasing the boysReplyDelete
Your play room looks like mine, glad I'm not on my own I'm forever tidying it.xxxReplyDelete
Oh god, the constant tidying up is a real problem xReplyDelete
Lack of sleep as my kids wake up early every single morningReplyDelete
The Constant Need For Attention :- I have heard some say that they feel like they have lost their name / individuality. Though I think possibly that is more likely if / when Motherhood seem to take over, as other pursuits / opportunities are put aside or not available. Surely there are many aspects to us all.ReplyDelete
I think I find you blog interesting as you cover a variety of aspects :- Motherhood, your Photography, present adventures / plans, etc. Keep Healthy, Keep Happy. Be Cassie, Be Mum, Be Partner, Be Daughter, Be Blogger, etc, etc. You encourage me to be me in my various aspects, roles, etc. Which helps me to aim to live life to it's full potential :- Come on Opportunities.
We had the sharing of food thing until I put communal separate dishes for veg, chips etc on the table and every one helped themselves, this worked although the table got very messy sometimes.ReplyDelete
Lack of Sleep :- We do need our sleep, all of us. I wonder if we tend to be anxious - over anxious in regards to new situation/s, new responsibility, first baby, responsible for someone else's baby / child (e.g. grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc,etc). I wonder if we need to prepare for such situations very much in advance. As I hear the term Sleep Hygiene.ReplyDelete
First baby in our family was my niece. Oh! She was a baby who could cry, and she had a high pitched cry. I wonder if she became over-tired. As we all seemed so eager to protect her and keep her safe. Sleep, she went to sleep when her parents settled to bed, and sleep. She was used to being around adults, and the centre of attention. Her brother was born, she was now in nursery. She had got into routinue of settling to bed / sleep before her parents, in preparation for nursery the next day, and a bedtime routinue had been established. Her brother:- What a contrast, he settled to sleep, just as his sister was at night. As a toddler he would ask for his pyjamas if he became tired before his sister. He had become aware of bedtime routinue, and was happy / keen to go along with routinue. Telling us he was ready for bed by asking for pyjamas, if he were the first to want to settle to bed and sleep. Heaven, I thought, if only all children were so easy to settle at night. New sibling followed his wonderful example. Babysitting them was so easy, comfortable and happy for all family, visitors, etc. I was so proud of my sister in law in regards to how she had raised such wonderful children, with a great attitude towards bedtime. Good natured children ( I think it helped that they got sufficient quality sleep)
Never Getting To Eat A Meal To Yourself :- Seems like Lily has a healthy appetite, just like her mum. Good for children to try a variety of foods. Eating in company can be sociable, it can be a time to interact, be adventurous (try new foods :- tastes, textures, etc). All positive experiences for little ones. For us adults a time to refuel, yet our attention is often taken by the children. Seems they trust us to protect and guide them. When we are often focused on getting on with the meat. As we have so much to do after the meal. We are often many steps ahead (making plans in regards to tasks to be done, order of these tasks).ReplyDelete
Meanwhile the children seem to be experimenting, taking their time exploring new tastes, experiences. Oh! If only we had lots and lots of time. We worry about food getting cold, etc. Sharing food can be fun :- Maybe that's why children will consider trying out what mum has on her plate.
Constantly Tidying Up :- Housework does sometimes feel like a constant viscous circle, with or without children. Oh! Getting Outdoors away from it can be Bliss! But, yes we do need to tackle it. Though I would love some volunteers to help! Any suggestions welcome.ReplyDelete
Some folks seem to have good ideas. I can recall a mum encouraging child :- It's now quiet time was what I heard. Gran seemed to also use this term / technique. It seemed it was used at night, a way of using a routine of gradually quieting / calming down. Reducing noise , stimulation, distractions, lighting. Seems to assist in Sleep Hygiene :- Providing an appropriate atmosphere, attitude, etc to bedtime routine and sleep.ReplyDelete
Homework:- can be time consuming for parent/ s. Whilst child always seems to want to do things Teacher's way. Projects usually mean a trip to the library for child and parent, and a degree of research.ReplyDelete
Just been watching Coronation Street, Mary and her son Jade :- Good storyline and I am wondering what is in store next. As Mary tries to make up for the time she missed (with her son as he grew up. She had been young and unmanned when son was born. Resorted to adoption, as lived with her mum, who did not want her to keep and raise child). Mary being Loving, Supportive and Protective of her Beloved son. Humorous aspects. Showing how much parents can love their children ( even when child has grown into an adult) :- Unconditionally.ReplyDelete
SLEEP!! It was our biggest issue. Our boy didn't sleep through until he was 4.5 y/o. Waking several times a night for seemingly no reason at all. Then there were night terrors- the most heartbreaking thing I've seen him go though. He's now 6 and things have greatly improved but still he rarely goes a whole week sleeping through. We now have waiting for the tooth fairy and growing pains to contend with. Parenting is so hard, but so rewarding- even if that reward is a hot cup of tea once in a while ;) xReplyDelete
WHY? Probably the most difficult question to answer.ReplyDelete
Children :- Can be such fun to be around. As interested in everything ( or almost everything) curious and adventurous. Maybe we should nurture our inner child, i.e. Life Long Learning. Seek out activities, exercises, etc which we enjoy. Best Wishes to all Generations!ReplyDelete
I'm finding the constant questions getting a bit worse as the years go on too as the questions get more complicated but my answer tends to remain "I have no idea". Today my daughter asked me if boy dogs had nipples too and I genuinely had to google the answer!ReplyDelete
Parenting can be a Struggle at times. Thankfully sometimes we can prepare :- We may have the experience of being brought up within a family unit. We have likely observed other family units. There are at times tv programmes on baby care, child car, the challenges of the teenage years, etc. Books :- Lots of them. Professionals such as :- Midwives, Health Visitors, GP's, Paediatricians ( Trained Doctors who Specialise in the health and medical care / knowledge of babies, and children), etc. Internet. So many sources of information and / or support.ReplyDelete
Yet children can still be a Wonder in our attempts to Love, Care and Protect them. Maybe we need to consider what our aim / goal is. Sometimes just getting through the day is enough. Counting our Blessings and Acknowledging our Successes are maybe somethings that we should make priorities for ourselves, our children and future Generations.
Maybe we need to remember that we are not alone. Many may have the Best Interest of Child / Children at heart. How do we share that commonality :- Maybe :- Care, Compassion, Kindness, etc. A young boy held door open for us one day. We were truly delighted, Thanked him and his Mother. "nice to be nice".
Parenting :- I wonder how helpful your experience in Child Care has been for you Cassie. As I can recall working in a children's Nursery. At the end of the day we would have Tidy Up time when all the Lego, etc was put back into it's proper place. The children assisted the staff, and were thanked for doing so.ReplyDelete
Some Parents and Granparents seem to have similar methods / routines. As I've heard Tidy Up Time, Quite Time. Seems sensible to have positive, helpful routinues. Not always easy when we can lead busy lifestyles. Maybe a good idea for child care to be taught / experienced at a young age.
Also some American programmes on tv which show families of large sizes. I have noticed, often they share the tasks( household and child care, etc). Shares the burden, whilst affording experience to be gained. Wonder what more we could learn from each other. Previous work environments tended to use tradesman ( trained, experienced person) training and supervising an apprentice ( learner, worker). Maybe this is a bit of how the large families gain skills, manage to deal with day to day life.
Children Just want to have Fun. Nice to get outdoors, explore, etc. Housework :- The way of dealing with it I'm told is little and often. Still to Master that. Still, we survive. Building fun memories for the future.
Best Wishes to all.
What a perceptive and candid post. For me it is the constant tidying up. Children have so much stuff these days, far more than my generation had. It may change from buggies, walkers and play pens on to scooters and teepees and then on to games chairs and huge rucksacks and sportswear but there is always stuff to put away - so much of it - somewhere!ReplyDelete
I came across a magazine article :- 73 Questions a Day! So What's the Problem? Regarding children's constant questions. "Children are at thei most inquisitive at 4 years old..."ReplyDelete
" Fathers field the most questions but mothers still deal with an average of 413 per week".
"To help parents deal with some of their children's more challenging questions, Tots Town at Argos has teamed up with child psychologist Dr Sam Wass and created a series of videos which can be found on You Tube".