Thursday, 16 June 2016

Me and my Shadow

Today we went to play group as we normally do on a thursday morning. The play group starts at 9.30 until 11am and Lily really enjoys going. It has painting, cars and bikes, a play kitchen, soft play section and loads more. It usually has between 10-15 children there ranging from babies to 3 year olds. So its not a mega busy play group. 

One of the reasons I always try and make sure I take her to play group is because of how clingy she is to me. I would of expected Lily to be running around everywhere and playing with everything but she doesn't. If I let her then she would happily just cling to my leg the entire time. So of corse I encourage her to play with the toys. 

Im perfectly happy spending the time at play group playing with Lily, but she does get a lot of play time with me at home and I would hope that this would be a place she would be a little more independent. I feel its important to spend time playing with your children but also giving them a chance to learn to play alone or with other children. I look around the room at the other children and I know I shouldn't compare but they are all running/crawling around playing and there parents taking a little break, having a cup of tea and a chat. Which as you know, we all need as parents from time to time. 

There was one point today that Lily was happily playing with the kitchen and to begin with I was stood behind her. Saying to myself.. "she is happily playing" I took a few steps back to talk to my friend who runs the play group and Lily dropped her toys and ran to me. So if I actually want Lily to make the most of playgroup then it looks like I need to be standing right next to her for her to play. 

She will point to toys she wants to play with, and so i say "okay, go on then.. go and play with it" but she won't move until I have held her hand and walked over to it with her. 

Then there is the stranger danger thing still happening. Another parent will try and interact with her and she winges (sometimes cries) and buries her head into me. I always have to explain its nothing personal, just that she is shy. Then if other children approach her you would think it was a four eyed monster approaching her. She wont have anything to do with them and runs to me to be picked up. The only child she is slightly ok with is my friends 3 year old daughter as they have met loads of times. 

Ive started trying to not pick her up at playgroup now when she signals me to, and instead I hold her hand and try and encourage her to not run away from things.

She usually (and typically) relaxes near the end of playgroup for song time and will be up dancing and playing instruments. But then its home time just as she starts to settle. 

Im hoping that this is just a phase and when she is older she may play more independently.  

Has anyone else has had there children act like this at Lily's age? (18 months) 

How did you deal with it? 


  1. All individuals
    My nephew won't go near anyone and just screams at playgroup -had to get a childminder and it took him ages to settle there too

  2. All individuals
    My nephew won't go near anyone and just screams at playgroup -had to get a childminder and it took him ages to settle there too

  3. Your girl sounds exactly the same as my eldest was when she was that age...
    Don't worry. It was just a phase with us. I think just do what you're doing and keep telling yourself it's just a phase x

  4. Noah was similar to this around 9 months - 13 months but what was worse for him was the stranger anxiety part (which Lily sounds like she has a little) he had it bad where if someone glanced at him he would burst into tears, let alone them trying to talk to him! Taking him to playgroup really helped with that and the independent play too but even now at 2.5years he will want us to play with him at playgroup but not as much.

  5. both my two were like this at nursery but each day got better until they ran off as soon as I dropped them off and in the end wasnt missing me at all (Kim Styles)

  6. My eldest was exactly the same. Proper Velcro baby/child. He was even like that around family other than myself and Daddy. But he's much better now he is older. I made the mistake of not taking him to play groups as he had health issues. My youngest is the opposite, really confident and gregarious. Every child is different :)