Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Lily as a Newborn

I would love to be able to write in detail about each week of Lily, but firstly that would take forever and secondly I'm not sure I can remember it all week by week. So I'm going to write about some of her firsts and best bits as a newborn. This and the post about her as a baby is going to be quite long posts full of photographs so I'm sorry but you better clear you schedule.

0-1 month old 
Lily's first outing was to go and get her registered. She looked so tiny in the pram and so cute in her little pink hat.

We had a rocking crib for lily to sleep in but she didn't seen to like it so we ended up putting her in her carry cot from the pram as it was a make that could be slept in. We put her carry cot into the crib and that was her bed for the next two months.

One thing I must write about is poop haha, One poop in particular, which story always gets me giggling. Me and Chris had a disagreement about where you change the baby from, I said its better to do it from the side, and he said its better to do it from the bottom of the baby, I won the disagreement and we had the changing unit set up so you attended the baby from the side. A few weeks later Lily showed one very good reason why its better to do it from the side and when Chris was changing a wet nappy she decided to do one huge projectile poo that squirted quite far and just missed his Xbox. From that day Chris is very glad I won the disagreement. Haha

One thing I always have to remember is how if she was ever upset or I needed to get her to sleep, I would put Abba on my ipad and a few songs in and that would be it, she would be asleep!

Christmas and New Years
Lily was only 5 weeks old when she had her first Christmas. We got her up, put her in her bouncer and surrounded her with presents. Of course at this age she was to young to open her presents so we did it for her, We bought her a singing nursery rhyme book and Vtech singing teddy, which my brother also got her the boy one so she had the girl and boy.

We then dressed her in a cute little Minnie Mouse Christmas outfit that my dads workmates had bought her. She looked Adorable. It was around now when lily would start to have a little smile come through.

We stayed home for new years eve as lily was to young for us to be going anywhere. Lily was awake for a lot of the night as she still didn't have a great sleep pattern, She slept until the countdown to midnight and fell asleep in my arms just before it hit midnight. Was so lovely having her in my arms that moment and made it such a great new year to look forward to.

It was a week later that Lily had to be taken to have her jabs, every mothers worse nightmare. I was quite nervous and scared for her I have to admit. Even adults find injections painful so it must be terrible for a tiny baby. I hated the first injections, we had a male doctor and he did a terrible job in my opinion. Didn't talk to her or acknowledge her much, and was slow when giving her the injections. He did the first in the leg and Lily screamed and cried so much, I comforted her and calmed her down while he got the second ready and then he gave her the second and she cried even more. Never heard her so upset and it made me well up but I held back my tears for Lily.
The second and third times she had to have injections was by a nurse and she was so much better at it. In one leg, turn her round quickly in the other, one lot of crying and done! I have her 1 year injections coming up and I will be making sure its the nurse who does it,

2-3 months
At 2 months old, Lily had her first long distance trip as we travelled up north for my birthday and to introduce her to my family. We had 2 trains and a car journey to do which would take 3 and half hours. Lily slept the whole 3 hours up to the car journey,
It was this weekend Lily met my brother for the first time, she let out a huge grin at him when he held her. (understandable) She also met my Grandad and Rose when we all went out for a meal. I love these photographs of the first meetings and they will always be special to me.

On the Saturday we decided to have a little get together with family and friends at my parents home, this was a great way for everyone to meet lily without us having to travel about or have lots of visitors at different times. Lily wore a cute pink dress and got loads of nice gifts.

It was around now when lily started to like her rattles and a few toys, and would start to gurgle at her toys. She had a lion that dangled from the bouncer chair, she would be delightfully gurgling away to it and then seem to get really annoyed at it. I read that this was her getting annoyed because it wasn't talking back to her. Bless.

Here are a few more images of Lily as a newborn.

Lily's First Days

We brought Lily home the next day at 8pm. She was wrapped up in her pink baby gap snowsuit, this is when my dad got his first hold of her. She looks so tiny in his arms.

I was so glad to be home and so glad to have my parents around, as I was in a lot of pain because of stitches and still didn't have much movement in my arm. Having my parents there also meant I got chance to have some sleep while they got their chance to have loads of cuddles. 

Lily quite happily spent her first days sleeping, feeding, and pulling funny faces. Oh.. and crying.

Day two and three was family visiting day. We had Chris's parents visit, First was his dad and Lorraine come and then his mum and sister and children the next.  I think this would be the only days I would have a visitor but not get dressed. Day three was quite emotional for me, apparently this could be because your milk is coming in. Well firstly I bust into tears because I couldn't reach my cup of tea that was brought to me and placed on the bedside table. Then later because seeing Lily have her photograph taken with her cousins was a special moment. I looked over and thought to myself, thats my family and then started to well up. (you can actually see me in the background of this second photograph with my hand to my mouth as I tried to stop myself)

The end of the week was quite sad as I had to say goodbye to my parents who were going home, but it was nice for me and chris to have some alone time with lily.
Here are a few more photographs from that week.

Monday, 25 January 2016

Birth Story

All the way through my pregnancy I had in my head that I wanted a completely natural water birth, with no pain relief. But Lily decided to be late and so I was booked in to be induced on the 18th of November and was told I had to call up that morning to book myself in. The night before I took one last photograph (yes in my PJ bottoms) to say goodbye to my bump. My Parents had arrived that night from the north so my mum could be with me for the birth. I ended up staying awake until 3am chatting with them (that was a bad move).

During the night I was dreaming I was having pains and I woke up at 6am and realised that it wasn't a dream and I was actually having pains. I thought "oh I wonder if these are little contractions". I really didn't want to be induced so when I rung the hospital I told them I was having pains and could I see if I started naturally. They were perfectly happy to let me do that and so I got up and went and had some breakfast and a tea and started to sit on my bouncy ball. All of a sudden at 9am I stood up and felt a trickle, my waters had broke. It wasn't at all like you expect with a big gush, and more like a leaky tap! Haha. So I call the hospital back and they told me to come in and check if they had broke and happy days they had and I was going to get my natural birth I wanted!

I got sent back home and instead of doing what a lot of labouring women do and lay down and relax, I decided to go to Morrisons for breakfast and to pick up some food for the hospital. I had a small fry up! As I sat there eating I felt the little pains getting stronger and more painful, but I didn't let them bother me.
I grabbed a trolley and started shopping and my way of getting through the pain was to keep moving, which really wasn't helping my parents as I kept disappearing isles away with the trolley. I laughed off all the pains and then we went back home. I wish I had a photograph to show you of me shopping in labour but photographs were the last thing on my mind.

At home I spent time bouncing on my ball and walking around, I tried to sleep but the pains were to much and I couldn't. During my antenatal class, one thing we got taught that was more helpful than anything was to find a go to spot. This is simply a area you go to if your about to have a contraction as having a 'place' can make you feel safe and in control. My place was my arm chair and so I sat facing away with my head on the back of the chair. It was that and my breathing that got me through the next couple of hours.

The hours seemed to fly by and at about 6pm I had had enough and I called the hospital. I told them my timings and they told me I had to be having a contraction lasting around a minute, 3 minutes apart. They told me to have paracetamol and a bath so I got Chris to run me a bath but I decided to skip on the paracetamol. I wasn't in the bath long and the contractions got longer and closer together so I called the hospital and told them and they said I could come in.  I do remember that the midwife was listening to my breathing from the other side of the phone, to time my contraction to see if it was long enough to come in. I may have let my breathing carry on that little bit longer so they would say yes, as I really did feel ready to attend the hospital. 

It was getting out of the bath when I had my worst contraction yet. I think mainly because I wasn't ready for it. I didn't have my go to spot and so didn't know what to do with myself. I wasn't in control at that moment and so I felt more pain.

On arrival to the hospital I was taken to a suite with a pool in, the room was called The Lily Pad, which was a coincidence as we were calling our daughter Lily. I had wanted to be in the birthing centre, which is more like a home environment but although I got told on visiting there would be a 99% chance of getting one, it seems I fell into that 1% as there was none available. But luckily there was still the pool. The midwife checked me and I was 5cm. I tried some gas and air but after a few goes on it, it made me sick and I didn't want anymore. Its at the point things become a bit of a blur for me and next thing I remember is getting into the pool. 

One funny but annoying little story I will always remember is that before I went into labour Robbie Williams had his baby and he sung to his wife while she was in labour, my mum asked me would you like it if you had Robbie Williams singing to you while your in labour and I answered with a big fat NO! Well my mum didn't turn her phone of while I was in labour and my dad kept ringing her to find out what was happening and who does she happen to have as her ringtone? Robbie Williams! So I did have him sing to me while I was in labour. I find it funny now but at the time I really didn't.

The pool was lovely and I was ready and my body started to push. It was all going just how I had wanted it to, all natural and in the pool. I was in the flow with my calm breathing (so I thought in my head) though apparently my partner tells me I wasn't. The midwife was struggling to see what was going on, she had forgotten her mirror that they use for water births and couldn't leave me to get it. Then suddenly after keep prodding my tunny to check the baby's heart beat the midwife said to me that Lily didn't like the water and her heart beat had gone up and so she needed me to get out of the pool and onto the bed where she could hook me to the machine to monitor me. I really didn't want to but better safe than sorry as she said and so I did. At this point I totally lost my flow and I was up on my knees at the headrest part of the bed with my arms hanging over holding onto Chris. I found the pushing the most painful and hardest part, I was worried and kept asking the midwife if she was stuck as thats what it felt like. Also the weirdest feeling was that I would push her out so much and then I would feel her shoot back up. I asked the midwife if that was normal and she said yes but she had never seen a baby shoot back up that fast. Lily obviously didn't want to come out. After a lot of pushing and swearing and shouting at my mum, Lily was born at 10.40pm.

The time it took for Lily to be given to me and in my arms felt like a lifetime, I remember looking around for her thinking where is she, all I could hear was her almighty cry. The midwife tried to pass her to me but I had lost all feeling in my arms and couldn't hold her and so they had to get me to lay down before I could hold her. Holding her for the first time was the most amazing feeling, I could not believe how tiny and beautiful she was (or how loud she was haha) and straight away there was a connection and love.
Lily took to breastfeeding straight away and latched on as soon as she could. I got this lovely first photograph of her doing it.

Lily weighed 6.15 and here is a photograph of her on the scales.

Though I didn't get my water birth, I'm happy that my birth was natural, I managed to not have any pain relief and I didn't have to be induced. But it was just after Lily was born that I always look back on and feel sad about.

After having a hour worth of stitches, and after Lily had been weighed and my mum left to give me and Chris some alone time, I suddenly got told I was going straight to a ward. This was around 2am, and so I did have about 3 hours after Lily was born with Chris there, but it wasn't relaxing time and we didn't really get to have those special moments where you look down at your baby and think wow that's our daughter. Instead Chris spent that time cleaning me down as my legs were like jelly and I couldn't walk to a shower, and I also still couldn't move one of my arms. A midwife came to get me and got me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to a ward where she parked the chair at the end of the bed and expected me to walk to the bed which I told her she had to move it closer. I then laid down and was laid flat on the bed, and Chris had to leave as no males were aloud on the ward. No one offered to make me comfortable and I couldn't even prop myself up to sit up and so was just left there looking at the ceiling and began taking it all in what I had just done. It was at this point I started to have a panic attack and was sick and started to cry.
A midwife calmed me down and made me comfortable and then left me. Then Lily started to cry, and my arm was so lifeless I couldn't even look after her which was horrible. The midwife came and picked up Lily and said she needed a nappy change and she would go and do it and just walked away with Lily and that was it, tears again. Lily had been so close to me for 9 months that her being taken away felt horrible and I just burst into tears and started to panic again.
I was such a mess that they asked me if I would feel better with my partner there. Well Duh?? (which wasn't my reply though should have been) So they decided that I could call for Chris and they would move me to a private room so he could be with us, which wasn't just great for me but him to so he could get some daddy time.

I was in hospital until 8pm the next day, pretty much 24 hours after I had gone in. I still couldn't move my arm and they think I had trapped a nerve with my arms over the bed. It was actually months before my arm returned to normal.

When I got home I finally could relax and got my first photograph (with my face in it) taken of me and Lily. Tired and Bedraggled but non the less a very happy mummy.

What was your birth like? 


I thought a great place to start my blogging would be by telling you all about my pregnancy while its still fresh in my mind. Im really keen to blog about this so its something I can look back on in the future.

After two months of trying for a baby I found out I was pregnant. At the time I was away in Paris working on a fashion show as organiser and photographer. I was feeling very tired but I put that down to the fact I was running around working hard. On the morning of Thursday the 6th Of February, I took a Pregnancy test and to my delight it had two red lines, I was so happy and excited and it was so nice to find out while in Paris. I waited until later that day to tell chris and showed him a little pair of socks that said I love paris on them to reveal the news. He was so happy and excited to.

My Friend took this photograph of me the day I found out, normal photograph to most but to me its a special one.

At 8 weeks of pregnancy my morning sickness started, this was the worst part of my pregnancy for me. I was never actually sick, I just felt sick from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed for 10 weeks solid. Not much would help and the only things that took the edge of would be eating salad, chewing sour sweets and sucking on ice lollies. The worst part about it was the smells, usually the smell of a roast chicken dinner would make my tummy rumble but this time it turned it and made me want to be sick!

At 12 weeks I had my first scan, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen and I couldn't stop looking at the screen. The baby was perfectly healthy and I got some really good images printed to. As soon as I saw those images, I knew it was a girl, I always said.. "she has a girly nose"

After my sickness vanished, my cravings started, firstly it was chip butties (so healthy) and I would go to the burger stand to buy one each lunch time as the guy knew I was craving them and sold them me for £1. Then it was chicken goujons for a month or so, and then Coca Cola for the rest of my pregnancy. I made sure that I only let myself have one can a day though as I hate how bad it is for you.

My Second scan came around and my predictions were right, its a girl! The baby was healthy, at a perfect weight and length, I couldn't be happier.  I had booked for my makeup artist friend to come round that day and paint on my belly boy or girl.

It was a week later and I felt the first kicks while I was on holiday in weymouth. She became super active at night loving the sounds of the arcade and amazingly this is when I saw little bulges appear on my belly from her moving around. It was this week me and chris decided on the name Lily, we saw it on a little dolly and I said, Lily sounds nice, after that it stuck. But we decided we wouldn't tell anyone until after she was born.

As my pregnancy progressed I must say I had a very easy one, not much heartburn, no backache or achey legs, no more sickness, loads of energy. All I had was one ever growing bump.

In this image, the photographer actually caught it on camera when she kicked the bootie from my belly.

Nearing the end of my pregnancy I started to not be able to sleep, I was uncomfortable and my mind was just wide awake, not to mention the trips to the bathroom and the fact she was kicking me and rolling around in there. I did love staring at my belly and seeing a little elbow or a foot poke out.
One thing I did get a lot of was Braxton Hicks and they started quite early around week 30. Mine were never painful but I would get one every five minutes for a whole hour nearing the end and it would just be a feeling of my stomach tightening so tight and going so hard that it felt like it it was made of concrete. I would mostly get them during eating, which made eating uncomfortable.
It was the 7th of November which was my due date, I was huge and was hoping she would arrive at any time, I was wrong and had a whole two weeks of walking around, eating curry, and all the other things you do to try and induce labour, but none seemed to work. So I was booked in to be induced for the 18th of November. 

Read my next Blog post on the Birth Story

Monday, 18 January 2016


Welcome to Lily's Little Learners

I hope you enjoy reading my blog :)