Friday, 20 October 2017

How much do Tv shows influence our children?

Okay, bad parent confession alert!!!!

I probably let Lily have way much more Tv than I should. 

Lily has always been a little hard to distract, and sometimes the only way to get a job done is by putting on the Tv and letting her watch one of her favourite shows that she is compleatly addicted to. Of corse Lily doesn't only have TV time. I fit in plenty of activities and outdoor time during the day but I have started to think about minimising the amount of Tv she gets. 

The first thing that has made me think about this is how much I notice her copying things from the Tv. She will start to talk about things or do something and i'm wondering, where on earth is she getting that from. Then I realise its something that has happened on one of her Tv shows. 

For example, Lily suddenly started to tell me that her tooth was loose. Im thinking, can't be, she isn't even 3 yet. Any way I check and of corse it isn't loose. I tell her it isn't but she insists that it is. At first I think that maybe one of her older friends had been telling her about her tooth being loose but then one day I was sat watching Paw Patrol with Lily (because as you know, I love paw patrol Ha) and there was an episode where one of the pups has a loose tooth but doesn't want to go to the dentist!
It clicked, thats where she is getting the idea her tooth is loose from. 

So while things like her using her imagination from things she has seen on Tv doesn't bother me, there are times I wonder if the TV she watches can have a negative effect on her. 

I have been watching a few of the things she watches lately and been taking note on things that are happening in the shows. I wanted to see if some of the things she see's on Tv were having an effect on her. 

The first thing I noticed was that she was starting to tell me she was scared of ghosts and all of a sudden she wants the bedroom door being slightly left open. I know exactly where the ghost thing has come from and again its from her favourite show Paw Patrol. The episode that she will have got this fear from has a ghost in and the pups are all scared of it. It all ends well when they find out that its not really a ghost and just one of the pups dressed up. But it seems to have left Lily thinking about and talking about ghosts. I now have to remind her that they are not real and that like in the episode, its just pretend. 

Mummy's brave and clever words of wisdom are usually believed by Lily and that sorts her out for the night and she does go to sleep. But it just shows you that a few moments of an episode can have a big effect on a child. 



So this leads to me thinking about her behaviour. If she is picking up on things like make believe ghosts, and its making her behaviour scared then what else is she picking up. 

I have always taught Lily good behaviour. Im not overly strict, but its important Lily has manners, and behaves nicely to others. One program Lily has started to watch lately that I am not keen on her watching is Caillou. This show is all about a 4 year old boy and his family. It shows all about things that happen in general day life, like playing at the park, having a sister or having a friend over to play. While the show does show Caillou being creative, adventurous and learning new things, it also shows him being a down right little (dare I say it?) BRATT! 


Caillou struggles to share, play nicely, and he seems to demand all the time. In fact I have barely heard him say please or thank you. A lot of his sentences start with "I want" and a lot of the time if he doesn't get his own way he throws a wobbler on the floor and cries or folds his arms in a huff. Sometimes his behaviour has been compleatly unacceptable like for example the episode he pinches his baby sister because he says "he doesn't like her". 
Caillou's parents always tell him whats right and wrong, and do always make him apologise. But of corse its a Tv show and on a Tv show they can't be to strict with him. But an action like nipping I believe needs a little more of a discipline action than "thats not nice". I think if they can't show the parents disciplining him then they should not be showing behaviour like nipping. 
Another thing Caillou is constantly doing is whinging and whining. "Mummmmmmy this, Mummmmmmy that, Boo Hoo Hoo". I realise that they have based Caillou on what a child can act like, but again its not great behaviour for a child to be watching.


I have noticed that Lily has got very demanding lately and very whiny. I recently said to her " wow your demanding", which her reply to me was "Im not Mandy, Im Lily" as Lily doesn't really know what demanding is.
It does make me wonder how much she takes from a show like this and how much it influences her to act up, or is it just her becoming a 'threenager'?

Caillou hasn't been banned from our home, but I am wanting her to watch it a little less now. I can't remove it compleatly as she asks for it every day and its on the front screen of Netflix where she see's it and asks for it. But I am really trying to persuade her to watch other programmes as not all Tv shows will have negative repercussions and there are a lot of positive role models on Tv. 

What do you think about Tv influences on our children? 

Do you think that children can pick up Negative Behaviour from what they watch?  


22 comments:

  1. Very thoughtful article, thank you. It's difficult line to tread, sometimes, isn't it? Because seeing certain behaviours, thoughts, feelings and experiences can be incredibly helpful for children, promoting both self-acceptance/self-confidence and empathy.

    But then it's as with your anecdote about the ghosts. What if it's introducing ideas that are of no use and may only cause problems? I suppose it's a question of approaching it case-by-case and teaching them alternative ideas when something destructive does slip through the net. It can be a pain, though.

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  2. Yes I do agree, my five year old daughter has been banned from watching toy reviews on you tube as the dolls are naughty or argue then she copies with her Barbie's etc, and she always liked fireworks until watching Bing and because he was scared of them she said she was last year lol xXx

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  3. Youtube taught my little one some annoying habits (cheekiness/talking back) so yes I think it does to a degree.

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  4. Yes definitely, my son said something horrible to his sister and when I told him to stay being horrible, his reply was "But Horrid Henry does that"!!!

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  5. Yes, I do think children learn from what they see and hear (observe) :- And that includes TVs. Is there not a poem "Children learn what they live". They learn from everything that they experience, so it seems.
    I think you have wisely taken notice. I would be tempted to wean little one from negative influence/s, by providing a positive alternative. Maybe a trip outdoors when the programme with the naughty boy is on. Vary activities,read a book, crafts, etc.

    "Ignore the bad, and praise the good. And the bad will fade away" :- Charles Handy (if I am correct).


    Rachel Craig

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  6. I think it does not have a good influence as kids tend to copy things

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  7. I think it's all about moderation. I m lucky my kids don't seem that bothered about tv but if there's a job I have to do and they are fighting or just in one of them moods where you can't leave the room - I put it on and it helps.

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  8. I've always been of the opinion that PG ( Parental Guidance) ratings on films :- Though aiming to give some idea of suitability of film for youngsters, does not really do so. As parents want to guide and protect their children, aiming to always do their best as much as is possible. Yet really, or ideally being able to view the film prior to it being shown or made available to our children :- Would allow us to avoid the children viewing anything we thought inappropriate. Children develop at various rates. Watching along with them, when unsure of contents :- No time to prepare self or child, avoid misunderstanding by explaining, answering questions, having a discussion, etc.

    Life is busy, yet Chilcare is important. Pressure on Parents has increased, due to cultural changes of more women in paid employment, more shift work, more commuting, nuclear rather than extended family, etc, etc.

    Yet we want our children to be kind, considerate, understanding. So that they have good social skills, etc.

    Rachel Craig

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  9. That is a thought provoking piece. I agree that TV shows influence behaviour. Our children loved Horrid Henry but it appeared to me that his bad behaviour went unchecked so I usually refused them permission to watch.

    Manners are very important to us too but it seems that we are in the minority as so many children and adults simply do not include the words please, thank you and sorry in their vocabulary.

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  10. You have got me Wondering, just why :- There are TV shows being shown / Presented for children, and showing negative behaviour. "Bad Boy" you mentioned in one programme :- Is this portrayed as bad behaviour, "Bad Boy", as this is saying the boy is bad, rather than his behaviour. We love our children, and want them to behave. We need to let them know they are loved, yet expected to behave (how, why,when, where, etc). Seems Positive Behaviour needs to be acknowledged and Praised, in order to be Encouraged.

    Parenting can be so difficult, we want to Protect our children. Yet we need to make them aware of Dangers, Bad Behaviour, etc in order that they can avoid being hurt, etc. Self Esteem, Self Awareness, Assertiveness, all seem such important attributes to I still in our children. But no easy task.

    Rachel Craig

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    Replies
    1. I still should be instill (Spell Checkers! /Computers)

      Rachel Craig

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  11. I do think it has an influence and I agree they can pick up bad behaviour especially when younger as they just copy what they see

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  12. It does influence children but in my daughter's case I think she is more influenced by her friends

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  13. Certainly does influence behaviour but doesn't necessarily lead to bad behaviour -others behaviour and actions seems to be the biggest influence

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  14. Maybe positive programmes, etc need to be recommended. Possibly a quick and easy way of feeding back to programmers our thoughts and opinions on what they have made accessible to / for our children :- Could help to shape a service which is acceptable to Parents / Carers, etc ( for their children.

    Rachel Craig

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  15. I do know of some people who :- Allow their children to watch a very little / limited amount of television. Also others who do not allow any television. They seem to view Education, and Quality Family Time :- Walk before evening meal, etc,etc as important aspects of growing up, living a life of Quality, etc. We do vary in our Values and Priorities. Though it does seem that it is important to spend time with youngsters. Increased Nursery Placements / Allowance may well benefit Family Life, Citizenship, Respect for Self and Others, etc,etc.

    Rachel Craig

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  16. Maybe an area / topic / issue which needs to be researched. As child and adult behaviour is important for socialisation, as well as understanding each other. Negative behaviour tends to happen for a reason, often as a reaction to a stressful situation:- So calm attitude may assist in destressing situation/ individual / group.

    Rachel Craig

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  17. As children listen, observe, and copy what they see and hear :- Seems we need to aim to prepare for encounters, etc. Yet we do tend to live such busy lifestyles. Manners are important and Parents and Grandparents may well be the ones who value and encourage such behaviour.

    Rachel Craig

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  18. I think that it's inevitable that children will pick things up from TV programmes, so we need to be careful what they watch. Unfortunately we don't have any influence over the writers / producers of these TV programmes, so if we find that a programme often has segments we don't agree with, the only recourse is not to watch that programme at all.

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  19. I think that children will pick things up from tv shows which is why i'm careful about what my kids watch, as parents we decide if something is suitable or not.

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  20. I think TV can influence, we make sure it is time limited and we always check out the progs to make sure they are suitable, easy with a younger child but can foresee it will get harder with age.

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  21. We find my Grandchildren pick up on things they see on TV, but the problem is if you don't let them watch the popular shows, they're isolated at school and among their friends. It's trying to find the happy medium

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