Tuesday, 8 November 2016

A Testing Time - Terrible Two's and Tantrums

Lily will be 2 years old in just under 2 weeks time. Ive heard all about the terrible two's. I have no idea why but I thought that it may be something we might skip with Lily. She has always been so well behaved and I feel that i've always taught her how to behave well. Also I thought that if we did hit terrible two's that I would be able to handle it really well and not feel stressed about it. 

Wow was I wrong.

The last two weeks or so Lily has really started to try and push me in all ways she can. She had her first major tantrum last week over something as minor as the fact she didn't want to wear a dribble bib. She screamed at the top of her voice and rolled around the floor. At this point, I stayed calm, and as long as she wasn't hurting herself I just left her to it. It lasted a few moments and then she realised it wasn't working and stopped. 


But since then it just seems to be one thing after another. She will not go in her pram anymore. If we are out anywhere, she wants to walk. Don't get me wrong i'm all for her walking and she always stays close to me so we don't need reins but there are just times where walking isn't possible. For example we are in a rush to catch a train or its a long walk. So when putting her in the pram I get kicked and she screams, she squirms and is not really having any of it. But again I stay calm and just put her in the pram letting her scream. The general public don't really bother me if they are looking. So far i've only had a few oh dear sort of smiles from people and no bad looks. I think maybe because I have stayed calm and collected when doing this. 

She is also having tantrums if I wont let her get her own way. For example we were in WH Smiths and I bought a very large piece of card. She started to have a tantrum because I wouldn't let her have it. Again I remained calm and got down to her level and spoke to her and then distracted her by telling her we needed to find the lift. 

But the hardest part of Lily playing up is her bedtime. This only started 2 nights ago and I'm already feeling the strain from it. She just will not go down to sleep. It really bothers me because we have worked so hard on a nice routine that has worked perfectly, and it seems a shame that things are going a little backwards. We finish our routine with bedtime stories, a cuddle and then I lay her down in her bed. Normally she rolls over and goes to sleep but the last 2 nights she won't. She jumps up and cries wanting to be picked up. I have worked hard to not cuddle her to sleep so unless there is something really wrong with her like she is ill, then its not something i'm starting now. If I leave the room, she screams. So leaving her to cry isn't something i'm going to be doing. In fact she screamed so much when I literally left the room for 2 moments last night to get a dummy that she made her self sick all over her bed. 

Tonight I wasn't going to let that happen. But what can I do? As I don't want to cave in and cuddle her to sleep but don't want her getting so worked up she is sick. So tonight when she jumped up for another cuddle. I said okay, one more. and gave her a big cuddle. Then placed her back down but she started crying again. Then she was at the end of her cot, reaching out for a cuddle and crying. So I sat on the floor. Eventually she pointed to her seat in the room saying she wanted me to sit there. But I wouldn't just do it. As far as I see, I need to be the one in charge, not her. So I said to her lay down. Lay down and mummy will sit on the seat. After repeating this a few times she listened to me and layed down and I sat. I sat for about 10 mins and snook out of her room. Im not sure if that was the right or wrong thing to do? I guess there isn't one way of doing it but it meant I got her to sleep a lot faster than I would of if I left the room and she wasn't sick. 

I realise that the terrible two's are only just starting , but I just really hope that she doesn't carry it on for to long.

In the meantime. Here are a few little tips that I feel are helping. 

1. Stay Calm
2. Don't over react - Sometimes a big reaction is what they are wanting.
3. Talk in a firm voice but don't shout

4. Distract them away from the thing making them have a tantrum
5. Sometimes its ok to give them what they are wanting. But make sure its on your terms. 
6. Take deep breaths. If possible, move away from the situation. 

I would be really interested to hear how you dealt with the terrible two's? 

5 comments:

  1. So hard to keep your temper
    But worthwhile in the end

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  2. Rachael Louise Taylor11 November 2016 at 17:31

    From what I can remember the terrible twos start early and last for ages

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  3. Keep strong
    Patience gritted teeth and routine saves the day

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  4. My little boys terrible twos began at around 18 months.....he is 6 now and still pushes me to the limit! But it's much easier to handle now as he is older and understands more. The night time thing I remember was a disaster! He just would not go to sleep. He learned very quickly how to get out of the cot....like an army commando routine! He would then stand at the baby gate and rattle it like a prisoner! I would have done anything for an easy life. My advice would be similar to yours....stay calm, be firm, and walk away when it's getting too much. Things will get better! Xo

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